My Eyes Hurt

Today my eyes hurt.

To give you a little back story, I was sick all last week and then I developed pink eye – in both eyes. One was definitely on the verge of RED eye, while the other was a soft, glossy pink. In any event, the doc summed it up as, pink eye, and told me to chill for a bit to see if it got worse and if it did, she would prescribe antibiotics. In the meantime, I was told that my tears were highly contagious and that I should avoid rubbing them and to wash my hands often. I was also instructed to throw away my eye makeup as the bacteria was more than likely there too. And how did she know the bacteria was in my makeup? Well, I had made a special point of doing my eyes up all nice and pretty before the visit to the doctor knowing that she’d be all up in my grill with flashlight in hand examining my peepers. What a fool I was. Being the dutiful patient that I am, I got rid of the makeup and bought all new stuff – considerably less expensive stuff mind you.

My old stuff was MAC product that I’d accumulated over time so it didn't seem to cost a lot at the time of each, individual, purchase. But the new stuff would have to be bought all at once so I went to Target and found similar shades in the L'Oreal brand. I was ecstatic because the MAC stuff was $20 for one color, the L’Oreal, $5 for five colors. What a deal! It wasn’t until I tried the new, less expensive makeup this morning that I realized that the shades were not nearly the same as what I had. This wouldn’t have bothered me so much if I weren’t such a creature of habit. I’ve been wearing the same colors for years only deviating slightly with shades from the same color palette -- the L’Oreal stuff was not nearly the same as what I had before. Maybe this new makeup will be a nice change for me, heck, I may even try more daring colors if the price is right. Anyways, back to my red/pink eyes...

This morning after trying the fresh new shades, I noticed my eyes were getting irritated and, a little pink. Not more than three hours earlier my doctor called asking if my eyes were feeling better and asked if I needed antibiotics, my response, “My eyes are great. So, no, Mrs. Doctor Person, I don’t need antibiotics, but I thank you kindly for checking in on me.” Click, I hung up the phone. Then later, my eyes started feeling warm and watery again so I went to the mirror and saw, PINK EYES!!!! GLOSSY, VEINING PINK EYES... VERGING ON RED EYES. I slapped on my sunglasses and went to collect Alex from preschool all the while cursing the telephone conversation with Mrs. Doctor Person where I passed on an opportunity for antibiotics. And now, I may have to throw away my new L’Oreal makeup.

To add to the story, let me tell you what happened the other day...

The other day I was wearing my bifocals and everything looked a bit fuzzy. I thought, damn my eyes are getting worse than ever. Even still, I wore the glasses hoping that my eyes would miraculously heal themselves and the fuzziness would simply go away. It wasn’t until later that night that I reached up to adjust my glasses and found that I was missing a lens. My finger went right through the space where my left lens should have been. HOT DAMN!! Had I been roaming around town with one lens? Yup. I was. Now I don’t know how many days I had been rock’n the one lens because nobody bothered to tell me that one was missing. Now pink eye?

I’m now down to: pink eyes, no drugs, no makeup, and no glasses. C’mon Karma, throw me a flip’n bone! Haven't I been good to you?